The Grim Reaper's Appointment

You don't want to keep this appointment, Not yet at least. But if you are partying real hard, mixing your drinks, your girls and living the dissipated lifestyle, Guess who's coming to harvest?

The buff Test
We agree you look better with the clothes on. But we need to see if there are any strange developments on your body. A mole here. Red sores. Found any? see a doctor.

The Chee Soh (Toilet) Test otherwise known as urinalysis
Aww, call it whatever you want. Pee Pee test or piss stone diagnosis. Just head to the chee soh (toilet) and take a piss. There is so much to learn here. If it was extra hard to piss and when you did it felt like acid, aren't we in for a real party. Let's see you could have a urinary tract infection. Or our favourite, you picked up gonorrhea from one of those girls you were hanging out with. Either way see a doctor. We loved knowing you. Now while pissing you noticed that everything performed in spurts, you may have a swollen prostrate. Don't take our word for it. Go and see the doctor. It is not over yet. Do the colour code test. Clear piss means you are steady enough to keep on. if it is dark yellow you need to drink more water. If it is murky white you may have kidney stones or a bladder infection. If it's red, oh look someone's in big trouble. Go and see the doctor. As a precaution, check your brother and see if there are strange things on it. Anything from unwanted insects to sores.

Grab those jewels
This is no heist. Just raid your family jewels after a nice warm shower. Your scrotum, that's right - the casing for the nuts gets fully extended once it's all tingly and warm. check for bumps and lumps. There should not be any. Of course moles, pimples and other skin irregularities don't matter. If you find any tender lumps or never before seen growth, call the doctor. and horrors if there are no jewels, apply to join European boys choir.com

What a load of crap
We couldn't agree more with you. But stools can give you an indication whether you have piles, cancer and ulcers. Bowel movement it is crap but check with the doctor. Reliable sources inform us that anything other than dark brown and rocket shaped is a cause for a check. Go and see the doctor.

Ignoring any of these can really mean we will be putting the final touches to your obituary. That's right the king of clubs is dead. He ignored the signs.

In the diner or restaurant

Everything was going well. The food was good, the music was just right, everything seemed well enough, until they started holding hands right across the flambe. Who knows what ignited right after that? But the management did not find it amusing to see furtive hands working mechanically under nice linen table cloths. All decent restaurant with Michellin stars will add restrictions to their NO pets allowed rule. We accept all card signs and another attention grabing sign and, oh yes, no holding hands.