UpClose and Personal

I HAVE A DREAM TOO, MISS MAO. To be a millionaire by 35. Reaching it slowly bu steadily. Nothing to shout about. At least I have a plan. I did not have this dream until she came into my life...and walked away.

She was the sweetest girl on the block. Three years my senior. Not that age was a hindrance. We stuck out perfectly as an item after our annual company's dinner-cum-party. We were the talk if the company we worked in.

I admit that i was first attracted to her sweet innocent look. Of course, her vital statistics and her brain complemented the whole package.

We dated for close to two years. During the courtship, I came to know that she had a male friend whom she regarded as someone she looked up to because he had helped her family a lot financially. Obviously the guy was interested to weave a serious relationship with her. But she was not keen as she said there was no romance between them. I trusted her and believed every word she said. Never in my life was I able to communicate more openly and brilliantly on life's taboos.

Then the candle light table began to turn. I heard a rumour among her colleagues that she was registered, married that was. The fact that several of them wanted me too had me disregarding the rumour on the grounds that they were jeolous and trying to spoils the fairy tale relationship. I asked her if the rumour was true, and she calmly denied it.

Time was the best judge. Her close friend eventually spilled the beans. I was duped. She was, without any further doubts, married. According to her friend, for money.

In between tears, she said it was never her intention to hurt me. She had been burying the truth because she loved me and did not want to lose me.

My naivete fought hard to believe her but my soul couldn't. Much as as I wanted her love, I was too heart broken to stay. I guess I was the one who walked away.

But what has my dream got to do with all this? Sad and shallow but true, deep down I realised if i had been rich enough, we would have been together today. She wanted love....AND money.

(Well, who apart from my cat, is not realistic in this civilised millennium?)

The last time I heard of her, she had since divorced and remarried, hopefully this time for love.No, you and I didn't miss any bus, Miss Mao. The buses were meant for us to board and alight from. The experiences we had gained added spices and sauces and pepper to our lives.

Remember, we wouldn't have known how it would be like if we hadn't tried. Of course, we had expected the best to transpire, but if it didn't, let's not be disheartened. Simply move on. It happened for a purpose. Everything does. Perhaps, whatever happens in our life does not mean anything. It is we who give it a meaning. And the lessons we learn from it.

Thanks to her, I have learnt to let go. Humbly put, very much wiser. Sometimes to the extent that i can quickly snap out of unpleasant situations and mind frames. You label it readjustments. I call it detached attachments!

The best chapter now is that I'm superbly single and fabulously free. I've mellowed in chain-dating. Every now and then, some sweet or simple or silly or sassy or sexy smile will soften my soul and send my spirit soaring.

History seems to repeat myself. I'm now seeing a girl who has - you guessed it right - a boyfriend! But what the (censored) ?! We enjoy each other's company. with ot without her boyfriend's knowledge. (",) Mr and Miss Perfect? I think we will be happier if we expect less and focus on our strengths rather than our limitations or the wrong stations